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How to not eat like a retard

29 June 2011 3 comments

First I would like to thank BH for making an excellent, hilarious post for me due to my busy, sex-filled schedule. Although I love helping the world and making it a better, less blubbery place, I feel like sometimes doing a little cardio with my female friends if you know what I mean… Not that you fat virgin fucks can relate, but you’ve seen the movies. Anyway, I’m not going to miss two posts so here you go. This post is going to be how to not eat like a disgusting fat pig and how to easily stay healthy, slim, and feel good. You will not get ripped from just eating, it’s just not going to happen. You achieve that through working out (25%), eating right (65%), and the other 10% is sleeping/resting, genetics, all that stuff. Don’t worry, I’ll make a post later on how to get off your fat ass and exercise correctly, so just focus on one thing at a time. I might update this post a lot with more information and source citing. If you have something to add post in the comments. If you’re fat shut up because nobody gives a fuck.

Let me break down food into 10 groups and discuss them all. Nuts, seeds, legumes, meat (including poultry and fish), dairy, vegetables, fruit, grains, fats and oils, sweets. This will be done in multiple posts.

1. Nuts
Nuts are good in smaller quantities. They have many nutrients in them that are not as commonly found in meats. However, they often have antinutrients and a lot of omega-6’s. Nuts have fats, proteins, and carbs, as well as antioxidants and minerals. However, keep in mind these antioxidants aren’t meant for human consumption. Plants don’t make nuts so you can put your greasy sausage fingers on them. But we’ve adapted to eating them so we can deal with it somewhat well. You see, nuts have polyunsaturated fats that go rancid and create oxidation, leading to heart disease and cancer. However, the antioxidants such as vitamin E protect us against that. What makes them go rancid faster is heat. So roasting nuts is not a good idea if you want to eat healthy.
The best way to eat nuts is soaking (preferred) or eating them raw. Salted is OK, but try to make sure the salt is iodized so you can get something useful from it. Eat them as an occasional snack only, a handful of assorted nuts a day or so. Brazil nuts are the best in my opinion.

2. Seeds
Nuts are actually seeds too, but large, dense seeds that are easy to eat. One thing that isn’t good about seeds, besides the omega-6’s, is phytates and lectin. Phytates bind in our digestive tract to minerals like zinc, magnesium, calcium, and iron and make it so we can’t absorb them. So even if a seed is high in some nutrient you may not get all of it. Click here for info on the amounts of phytates aka phytic acid in different nuts and seeds. Once again seeds also have a lot of omega-6’s, the only seed I know of higher in O-3’s is flax, and they are ALA type Omega-3’s which aren’t absorbed as well as DHAs and EPAs from fish for example. And yeah you want to get your omega-3’s in a 1:3 to 1:1 ratio with omega-6’s, but you can’t just take a bunch of fish oil pills because you ate 100s of nuts today. That’s retarded, they still cause oxidation, and thus cancer and heart disease. Try to keep polyunsaturated fats from 5-8%, with the ratios I suggested. That’s easiest by just limiting polyunsaturated fats and taking a fish oil pill if they’re mostly from nuts and seeds.

3. Legumes
Do not eat these shits. Peanuts are legumes by the way, not nuts.
The worst legume of all is soy, and I’ll get to specifics on soy in another post, but legumes are just shit. Legumes have significant protein and stuff like potassium and magnesium, sure. The protein amounts are kind of poor though. Also these proteins come with a bunch of carbs, which you don’t need if you’re a fatty fat.
All of the nutrients you can get from legumes you can get in better quantities or from better sources than legumes. Just eat vegetables and meat.
By the way, our body isn’t too good at digesting legumes, hence the farts. Many nutrients aren’t too bio-available and it makes you fart, and you fat fucks already smell bad enough. So how do you digest them better? Soaking, but you’re lazy fuck, so just don’t eat them. And no that shit you buy at walmart isn’t pre-soaked, they don’t give a fuck about you.

View series

Some Lulz

Hello all, I’m filling in for Fat Slayer today because he’s busy, you know with booty calls and whatnot.  With such a buff physique that makes you so popular and sexually in demand, it can be a bit difficult to always be available on this blog.  As my time is rather limited as well (much for these same reasons), I have quickly put together some funny videos of fat people for your enjoyment.

Warning!  Videos contain an excessive number of repulsive fatties.  Not intended for the easily nauseated!

These first two contains videos of fatties failing.  We all know that it’s always funnier when a fatty fails.

These next two videos contain fatties being hilariously stupid, as they always are.  If you are uncertain about fat people being dumber than the rest of the population, these videos should prove it beyond all reasonable doubt.

The last video is rofl.  Fatties are not smooth and they repulse everyone they show interest in.  Every fatty acts just like that man, and the woman’s pretty fat herself.

EDIT:
one more…

“My Pictures Were Photoshopped!! :(“: The New Fat Denial Tactic?

I don’t ordinarily post on Sundays but today I’ll make an exception.  Apparently Jill Filipovic had responded to the post I made yesterday and here’s what she said:

Photoshopped?  Lolwut?  You mean to say the pictures I pulled straight from your Flickr account were photoshopped?

This is something fatties in denial will do.  You show them unflattering pictures of themselves and point out their disgusting features, and they’ll all tell you it’s photoshopped.  It’s pathetic.  They’re too afraid to admit it and face the reality.  None of it was photoshopped, and if you think it was, you’re a filthy fat apologist.  You enable these fatties to go on about their business thinking “oh, I’m not fat because those pictures were photoshopped” when they’re not.

Still don’t believe me?  This time I’ll just link to Flickr pictures.  How about this one.  You can see that she has a potbelly she’s hiding under those clothes and thighs that are thicker than an elephant’s.  Don’t forget the big booty!  She’s always showing off that food, her and any fatty’s most favorite thing in the whole world.  Not to mention, it’s a great view of that ugly echidna-like face and nose of her’s, eww.

Now am I being a little unfair?  I dunno, but she can sure chug it like a man, which is cool and what most any guy would desire in a female, but is perhaps where she got that potbelly of her’s (this is why you don’t date women who are heavy drinkers, men).  She does have nice hair, which she uses to hide that fat ugly face of her’s (and speaking of photoshop, you only get that gleam in your eye from that program… hmm, you have much explaining to do Jill…).

See, I don’t need to photoshop any of Jill’s pictures to make my point, as I demonstrated here, and I have not done anything to those pictures.  I took them straight from her Flickr account, as I have with the ones she claims I photoshopped – and this is assuming she hasn’t photoshopped her own pictures of herself!  But I’m not trying to make it about that because her pictures are ugly enough even if she had photoshopped them to make herself look slightly more pleasing to her internet fandom.  Jill, before you point fingers at everyone else to blame like I know you feminists love to do, maybe for once take responsibility for yourself.  I didn’t make your body look fat in photoshop.  You did, by overeating all the wrong foods, and it’s disgusting.  You go around showing yourself off but ugh, no one wants to look at your fat ass Jill.  So quit claiming we’re out to make you look fat because you look fat enough by yourself!  I think the whole world would be much happier were you to lock yourself in your apartment and never show your fat self.  You’d be doing us all a big favor.  Until then…

Om nom nom nom, keep stuffing your ugly face, fatty.

Jill Filipovic

You may have heard of her.  She runs the blog Feministe.  She’s a self-proclaimed feminist, and if that isn’t enough to indicate just how much of a dumb fucking cunt she is, her fat apologism ought to.  I quote:

“Fat-hate hurts everyone, but it particularly hurts fat women. And it’s hurting fat women in very real ways — they’re poorer, less educated and less successful in the job market because of the culture of shame and judgment we’ve created around weight.”

I nearly shat myself in amusement reading that.  Fat-hate hurts everyone?  Maybe in the delusional minds of fat apologists, but it benefits the rest of society.  Particularly women?  Please, spare me this femtard bullshit; fat men and fat women are equally repulsive and worthless.  Fat women are poorer, less educated, and less successful because of the shame of being fat?  Thank god.  This is exactly how it should be.

Every so often I peruse the fat apology blogs just for the lulz and Jill Filipovic is one of my favorites.  Why?  Because she’s a fat apologist who is fat, but pretends like she’s not but is too afraid to admit this because of her fear of offending the fatties.  It’s so pathetic that I just can’t help it.  If you read enough of her blog, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.  Observe:

“And yet I’m the absolute worst when it comes to fat talk. Like many women I have a whole slew of body issues; my weight is always on my mind, and I feel like I’m in a constant battle with my body. I’ve started to make my peace with how I look, and I’ve started to accept the fact that I love physical activity and exercise, I love to eat (and I like to eat food that feels nourishing, clean and healthy), but my body is just a certain build and shape and I’m never going to be 5’10″ and 110 pounds. I can turn things I love — physical activity and food — into things I resent in order to be thinner, but it’s not worth it. I’ve done it, and it makes me unhappy. Deciding “I would rather be happy” sounds simple, but it’s psychologically challenging when for so long I associated happiness with thinness — as in, “I’ll be happy when I’m 20 pounds thinner.” I’m learning how to allow myself to be happy and not thin. It’s a process, though, and as I go through it I still find myself complaining to my friends about the way I look. I also have a group of friends who are mostly very thin — significantly thinner than I am. It can be very difficult to always feel like the “fattest” in the group. And when I spend time with women who are larger than I am, I also find myself feeling envious — of their curves or of the way clothes fit them or of their confidence or of whatever else they have that I don’t. I feel like I never measure up.”

I mean WTF is this shit?  Rofl, she’s talking about happiness when she talks about fatness and being thin.  Happiness?  What, so you only want to be thin so you can indulge yourself, like the fatty who indulges herself with a milkshake?  Yeah, this is the kind of shit I’m talking about.

Look at the picture of Jill at the top right of this post.  Do you not see that giant gut of her’s?  Her thighs are big chunks, not small cylinders like a healthy woman’s should be.  Her entire upper body is thick, and by “thick” I mean repulsively large, not some “hot, curvy” type of meaning black women so love to use.  We all know that “thick” and “curvy” are code words for morbidly obese.

Kids, be warned; you are witnessing bigfoot in the flesh.

The image of Jill on the left serves to reemphasize these disgusting features.  You can see that it’s not just her thighs which are sized like an elephant’s, but her arms as well.  She’s short and very pudgy – she’s about 5’2” and judging by her appearance weighs probably around 150 – 160 lbs.  That’s a BMI of 29.3, which is very disgusting, it’s basically obese.  Pair that with a fat nose and butt ugly face like an echidna’s, and totally red in a most ugly fashion, and she could give some of the fattest and ugliest a run for their money in the vomit inducing contest.

Back in the day, Jill used to be all the rage on AudoAdmit, a message board for law students that preserves the anonymity of its users.  She apparently gained some notoriety because she modeled for her friend in a bikini (eww), which she shamelessly allowed to circulate the board.  I suppose in her younger days she looked passable, but Jill’s almost 30 now and her old age has taken a toll on her appearance.

This is all why I love Jill so much.  It’s fucking rich.  She talks about how she deliberately seeks out some of the fattest and largest of her friends and puts herself next to them in public so she looks skinnier, and then goes back to her blog to apologize for it.  It’s absolutely pathetic, why would you deny your innate human desire to be healthy, and furthermore, why on earth would you apologize for it?  Jill, if you’re reading this, you should embrace it and not be ashamed to burn your excess fat so you can have a fit and attractive body like your sister.  Fat apologism is so poisonous for this reason; it holds us back from being healthy.  You should cut out all the vegan bullshit in your diet, abide by a diet as close to the natural one our bodies evolved on as much as possible by eating lots of juicy meat and fish, work out and build some muscle in it all, disassociate yourself from every elephant-woman you think is your friend, and then report back to your blog raving about how proud you are that you burned that disgusting fat and regained some semblance of your younger and better appearance.

But I know you won’t do that.  It perplexes me why a woman wouldn’t wish to maximize her self-worth as much as possible by caring about her body and appearance.  I don’t understand why she’d prefer to just let it all go, as if she’s too apathetic to care.  This is why fat people are so offensive; their lack of concern about themselves and others is just plain disgusting.  You’ll probably go on and on, Jill, ranting and bemoaning about the sexism and discrimination fat women rightfully face, but never doing a thing to lift a finger and improve your own individual self.  And this is why you’re so amusing to me; you are a microcosm of every fat person alive, looking to blame everybody but themselves for their own obesity.

Keep shamelessly stuffing your face, fatty.

Reason to hate fat people #1 – They automatically look unaesthetic.

24 June 2011 64 comments

Looking ugly in itself isn’t the worst thing in the world. Nobody wants to see some ugly piece of shit walking around when they take an innocent trip to the movies or the mall or the supermarket. And yeah, physically fit people can look ugly too with a deformed face or something.

However, there is a difference. That physically fit ugly guy puts in some effort to improve his looks. He knows he has a crappy face so he makes up for it by having a great body. So many fat people I’ve seen don’t have terrible faces, they’re just obscured by fat. This is very true with girls, and it essentially means they robbed the world of beauty. A fat person cannot be beautiful. Mentally or physically, it is IMPOSSIBLE. You’re a fatty and you are UGLY in many ways. You have a disgustingly chubby face. Your torso is nasty. Your arms and legs are flabby. You’re character deficient because you have no self-respect. You’re a disgrace to your ancestors and yourself. I hate you. I don’t even know you and I HATE YOU.


This is how you fucking do it!

You see, a fat person cannot possibly look acceptable. He can put on a $5,000 suit, have a nice haircut, clean and tanned skin, whatever. There’s nothing he can do to look acceptable except maybe lose some fucking fat. Same with the women… well, especially with the women. They will always look ugly and I would never consider having a serious relationship with a woman that is not physically fit. I would never have a child with a fat mother, to me it’s a criminal act. Whenever I see fat people that are pregnant, which takes some skill to notice, I fill up with burning rage. There is nothing more in the world that I want to do at that moment than push her disgusting body to the ground and lay punch after punch of her gross, flabby belly.
It enrages me by just thinking about it.

And as I said before there’s nothing inherently wrong with being unaesthetic, but if you leave the safety of your own house and exhibit your disgusting rolls of failure in public and your chubby cheeks and your cottage cheese thighs you are a disgrace and you should be ashamed as you have not only shamed and disgraced yourself, but all of humanity as a whole.

Fat people are not people II

22 June 2011 26 comments

Part I

One question I love to ask people is “What is your passion in life?” For some reason I often get along well with the elderly, so the majority of answers I get are from aged folks. One thing these people love to do is show me what they looked like in their 20’s and 30’s. I have found an amazing, flawless correlation. The more excess fat the person had, the sadder the look in their eyes. Two people I asked this to were vastly obese, one of them was just as bad in his old age and the other improved a bit, but was still very overweight. These two, the fattest two I have ever spoken to, both teared up. The only two to ever cry at my question. They told me they gave it all up. They told me they were to focused on something else. It certainly wasn’t their health. They said their whole life was just them getting by.
It is truly sad, I have never seen such misery in my life. If you give up on your body you give up on your soul. You have become a useless pile of flesh and lard.

Ideal human form - note his lack of excess fat

One does not hike up the mountain of the Gods with a broken leg, torn shoes, and an infected arm. He will surely fall to his death, he is not prepared. One does not sail across the Atlantic on a raft, they will surely fail. One cannot go through life with an inferior physical form, he will surely live an unfulfilled, terrible life.

Socrates once said, “It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

A fat male is not a man. A fat female is not a woman. The obese are not human, they do not deserve humane treatment. They do not deserve peace and respect. The ugliness of a fat person is not just skin deep, it is much beyond that. It is an ugliness in their soul. I hate fat people, I hate them with a burning passion. If I was an employer and a fat man applied to my company, I would not hire him as a worker under any circumstance. If a fat woman shows interest in me, I will not give her any attention under any circumstance, not a chance. If you are fat, you are not permitted one second of my time, you are detestable, you are
WORTHLESS.

Fat people are not people I

20 June 2011 27 comments

Hello everyone. I go by Aristodemus, although that is not my real name, and I have been asked by BitterHappiness and Fat Slayer to post on this blog whenever I could muster the time to. This post, if you read the title, is about why I do not treat the overweight as humans, or even consider themselves my equal. It may seem obscene, bigoted, or illogical at first, but continue reading.

Technically, mankind is all genetically united and one species. Black or white, tall or short, thick or thin – we are all Homo Sapiens. Based on this alone, many would argue that a human, no matter who they are, should be treated fairly and justly. And I would agree, but I do not believe fairness is equal for all humans. I believe that is someone chooses to, say, rape and murder dozens of children, it would be fair to reciprocate with the most strict punishment imaginable. It is righteous, or justified, to treat them like filth. Because that’s what they are and their actions have proven this.

But where do those people with just a bit too much adipose tissue come into this? I don’t accuse them of murdering and ravaging children, but I do believe that their actions, which are displayed through their gluttonous appearance, justify treating them like animals. But what exactly does that mean? It means that whether or not treatment is inhumane is now irrelevant. Violence, torture, public shaming – all of this is justified.

You may still think this is a bit silly, it took me weeks of deep thought to come to this conclusion and I now feel that I have been truly enlightened. I do not need to explain the process of excessive weight gain. If you break down to your primal urges and devour garbage incessantly, you will become fat. How can one expect to be treated as an equal human being as he constantly proves to be a sub-par human, because he has a lack of discipline and ambition, a clear willingness to lie to himself, a lack of dedication and drive, no self respect, and is full of selfishness and greed? This is not how a human acts.

A human is kind, intelligent, sets goals and achieves them. A human does often make mistakes, but he learns from them. A human loves to make mistakes because he becomes wiser, he knows a little bit more on how not to do something. A real human endures in hard times and comes out stronger than ever, wipes the blood from his brow, and charges at the opposition. A human shoulders and conquers pain, he does not give in to his urges, he does not shove trash down his throat.

Fat people do none of this. They cannot even take care of themselves. I have spoken to many people from all over the world. The most successful men, the men that display all of the positive characteristics that I listed above, the men that take life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground… these are the men that say “She must be fit,” or “she must look good” when I ask them about women. That’s right. Although personality is certainly important and character does count, your body is a billboard that displays your character. And if you are overweight, you are deficient in character.

When I look for the truth I look to children. Children’s souls have been untainted by the lies and distortions of modern madness. Children, for example, are naturally aware of sex roles and the way the world works, they just lack experience to piece it all together. The men that know how to keep their inner child and mix it with strength, masculinity, and experience get the women. When a man is a child, he is at ease with the sexes, he will run around and play with a female, he will play with his trucks and other toys and face danger and excitement. These actions, when combined with the experience of age, are what successful men display.

Now what does this have to do with anything?

Children are the WORST (I should say, best) when it comes to “Fat shaming”

Children will openly call their teacher a fatty, right to her face. I’ve seen it happen, in my classes as a child. I went to three different elementary schools because my parents moved a lot. They would talk about the teacher behind her back, laughing at her. Mrs Hatmaker, my 2nd grade teacher, was well-known as Mrs Fatmaker. I don’t even remember the principle’s name, everyone called him Mr Chubby. The one obese child in the class had no friends. He would be attacked, ruthlessly, at the playground. He would cry all of the time. And this was righteous.

By puberty it seems humans hit the first moral bump in the road. They can face it like a true human, head on, balls-to-the-wall, and clear it with ease. Or they can hit it and veer off course, crashing into a ditch, losing the gift they were born with. They will lose their human essence.

Part II