Home > Diets, Exercise, Health, Nutrition, Paleolithic Diet > How to not eat like a retard summarized

How to not eat like a retard summarized

Well I’ve done all the food groups and it’s time to summarize everything for you fat, lazy fucks…

Here are all the posts:

Some summary points:
1. Eat a lot of fat, mostly saturated fats and monounsaturated fats. Eat small amounts of polyunsaturated fats, trying to balance omega-3’s and omega-6’s as close as possible. Do not cook with unsaturated fats, as they cause oxidation, which causes cancer and heart disease, which kills about 50% of Americans. Good sources of saturated is butter, animal fats, and coconut oil. A good source of monounsaturated is olive oil. Take fish oil pills only if you’re not eating fats from fish or grass-fed beef.

2. Eat moderate amounts of protein, mainly from animal sources. Eat more if you’re trying to gain muscle mass.

3. Avoid a lot of carbs unless trying to gain weight, try to keep it under 100g if trying to lose weight, keep it at 100g if trying to maintain, and eat even more if trying to gain muscle mass.

4. Avoid grains, legumes, and processed foods. Good sources of carbs then are starchy vegetables like potatoes, sweet potatoes, and carrots.

5. Eat nuts and fruits in small quantities; avoid the most sugary fruits unless post-workout for the insulin spike.

6. For fat burning exercise, do short bursts of very fast sprints, also called high intensity interval training, and/or walking/hiking. For muscle gaining exercise, do resistance training with compound exercises.

7. Although I already said not to eat legumes, avoid soy like the plague.

8. Try to keep your fats 2/3-3/4 of your calories and protein as much of the rest as possible. If doing exercise, and you should be, keep your fats and protein at that ratio and then add some carbs on top of it, but not excessively.

9. If you can tolerate dairy go ahead and eat it.

10. No soda, candy, cake, or any of that unhealthy shit. Ever.

11. If you want a boost for your fat loss, try ECA stacking or Clenbuterol.

12. Eat as many low-calorie vegetables as you want.

13. Eat organ meats, especially liver, heart, and brain, as they are very nutrient dense
Well that’s it, steps to success in a healthy, lean life. You’d have to be an idiot to read this and continue with your self-destructive fatty ways…

  1. Anika
    3 August 2012 at 10:51 am

    You are so mean. Where do you get off calling people fat lazy fucks? This blog could actually be helpful to losing weight if you weren’t such a mean bitter nasty person. And your article on if you’re fat you should be ashamed? Ignorant, mean spirited and nasty. Its people like you that should feel ashamed. You remind me of the schoolyard bullies. I know that you’ll probably assume that i’m a “fat lazy retarded piece of shit”, but im also only 14 years old. So think about other people’s feelings before you write another rude and utterly unhelpful article.

  2. Sarah
    12 August 2012 at 4:30 am

    I love you. This may just be the greatest blog ever written. Your nutrition advice is right on the money, from all the right sources, and it’s really refreshing and nice to see it put so bluntly. Maybe you’ll shock some of the retards out there into actually educating themselves. You’ve put into words the utter frustration of watching people destroy their health with wilful ignorance, when the right information is so available, and so easy to follow. I love this blog, and I love you a little bit for being so upfront – I’m really sad to see that you seem to have stopped updating it. If you ever read this, I can’t congratulate you enough.

  3. Steve
    3 October 2012 at 10:36 am

    I will take it one step further for you people who find it difficult to not eat like a retard. Here is MY personal daily diet.

    6:30am Leap out of bed, bursting with energy thanks to a healthy diet and exercise.
    6:45am Go jogging. Go at the fastest pace you can comfortably maintain for 15 minutes.
    7:00am Shower.
    7:10am (I am thin. Showering is quick!) Eat a banana for the potassium
    7:30am Go to work
    8:00am Indulge in 2 scrambled eggs with a mixture of whatever veggies sound yummy!
    10:00am Go for a 15 minute walk outside for the sunshine
    12:00pm Eat a nutrient dense lunch. I prefer chicken or fish with veggies for lunch.
    2:30pm Eat a handful of Nuts. (NOT LEGUMES!) (If you are fat, replace that with an apple!)
    5:00pm Go home from work
    5:30pm Primary workout routine. Currently doing Insanity, but in 2 weeks will do P90X again
    6:30pm (That’s right lazy! A full hour of sweating!) Take a shower.
    6:45pm (Longer shower due to the hot water feeling good on my muscles!) GOOD carbs
    8:00pm Dinner Time! Nutrient dense veggies. Fiber!!! LEAN Meat. Liver, chicken, fish, Beef!
    1200am Bedtime!

    Let me clarify things here.

    Chicken does not mean McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets. It means CHICKEN! A flippin bird or piece of bird you purchased from your store of choice and cooked in your home!

    Fish does not mean Captain D’s, Long John Silver, or any other such garbage! I mean FISH! A slab of white meat that you purchased from the store and brought to your house for cooking!

    Liver is not healthy if you batter it and deep fry it. Throw it on a skillet. Onions go great with it.

    Speed walking, Power walking, or whatever the hell you people call it is NOT jogging!

    Good carbs does not mean something sweet and packaged as “reduced sugar” or anything like that. Good carbs are carb sources such as fruit or veggies (carrots!) that have a high amount of carbs but result in a LOW glycemic index!

    Nuts should not really be consumed every day by those seeking to lose weight. But if you have achieved your fitness goals and are trying to maintain, nuts are a delicious and energy filled snack that can keep you energized through work. The timing is a coincidence. I do not suffer a 2:30 crash because I eat healthy foods that my body properly metabolizes!

    A workout routine is not a workout routine if you are not miserable for 5 minutes afterwards. Jump in the shower and get that hot water running over your freshly strained muscles. THAT is the feeling right there. You will know it when you get it.

  4. 25 May 2013 at 7:22 pm

    Hey, I’m not a lazy fat slut but I need some advice, please. I am underweight, but that means low body fat. I am fairly muscular but I guess being female I need a little more body fat or my hormones get fucked up. I have Celiac disease so I don’t eat wheat or any grains. I don’t eat dairy, legumes, sugar. I consume a lot of greens stuff and protein 3x a week.
    Q 1) How does a woman gain muscle? Eating protein isn’t the only answer. I know because I have trained in the past and whilst gaining a moderate amount it didn’t look right with so little fat (think: Madonna arms)
    Q 2) How to I keep fat ON my body? You know a lot about how it should come off, so what about keeping it on?

  5. Cugel
    7 July 2013 at 8:41 am

    Cary Bear – I don’t have Celiac disease, but I eat a diet similar to yours (paleo) because I have diabetes. I work out hard, so I’ll lose weight unless I load up on potatoes, both white and sweet. As for Madonna arms, I think thats due to steroids

  6. 30 May 2014 at 9:09 am

    I’m in love!!!
    I’m fat. After 4 years, 2 babies, and lots of gluttony. .. I’m 60 lbs over weight. Its disgusting. I wanted the cold hard truth about how, fat people are perceived. .. and you delivered!! I go ogled “fat people are disgusting” praying I’d find the words you wrote. Shocking to say the least, but it hits the nail on the head. Then I see this post on food and its exactly what I feel is correct about nutrition! ! Very close to a paleo diet!!!

    Anyway, I look forward to more of your brutal truth! Thanks for a kick in my fat ass!!!!!!!

  7. infamouscrimes
    4 September 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Oh no, this article should be titled, How to Eat An Unhealthy Diet to Achieve Fatness. I can’t believe you’re jumping on the debunked Attkin’s bandwagon. Carbs are what the body needs, not fat. Who wrote this? What books are you reading? You need to tell fatties to eat lots of carbs and no fat. Fat = fat duh. Jesus it’s not that hard to figure out. Fruits and vegetables, all day.

  8. Onepissedoffjew
    9 September 2016 at 9:59 pm

    Dear Fat Slayer. Fuck you and your whore mum. Go suck your mums dick while you eat your dads pussy. And fuck your animals too, cunt! Please keep an eye out. I have sent and your cum-guzzling slut mother a very special package that will surely “blow you back”. Haha!

  9. Heinrich
    4 March 2017 at 6:26 pm

    Retarded fat fuck paleo shit. Japs are not fat, you ugly American obese cunt, they eat rice.

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