Posts Tagged ‘woman’

How to Rate One’s Appearance

Sorry all, I got a little tied up the other night (quite literally I might add).  I believe Fat Slayer laid out enough details in his last post…

Unfortunately my time is still crunched this week, so all I have for you is a reference poster below and it is very useful indeed.  Ever had a girl ask you to rate her appearance, and after giving her a number, she asks you exactly what that number means?  In the future, just link her to this post.  Simply click the picture to view it in full size.

A Story

So the other day my friends and I decided to eat some pizza.  Yeah, I know, the stuff is awful for you, but unlike disgustingly fat pieces of shit we actually make a point to not overindulge ourselves.  Anyway.

So there we were waiting for our food, conversing with one another about politics and whatnot.  Then all the sudden, this mammoth of a woman comes walking in and lands a seat in the booth behind ours.  And this bitch was huge; I’m talking a layer of fat rolls bulging out of another bulging out of yet another layer of fat rolls. She was hardly able to even fit in the booth, she had to literally position her fat on top of the table just to fit.  Just the sight of her made us want to vomit.  Her every step was like a fucking earthquake, I swear the bricks that old building was made out of were going to tumble over from the ground shaking from that disgusting pig’s movement.  To make matters worse, her presence changed the entire aura of the restaurant itself – her smell changed the general smell of the restaurant, the attitude of the place became very rigid and uptight, and everybody’s voices hushed perhaps because they’re all too chicken shit to tell this disgusting freak just how repulsive she is.

If that’s not proof enough of how fat people fuck us all over, then get a load of this.  We listened to her take her order.  She ordered not just one, but TWO large pizzas.  All deep dish of course, the most greasy and fatty version of pizza you can eat.  One Hawaiian, because you know she’s probably trying to picture herself as some Hawaiian hula girl (rofl) in the only way she knows how – through gouging herself with food.  The other an all meat.  And to top it off, she also ordered not just one, not two, but three, three, orders of cinnamon sticks, complete with a request for extra cinnamon on it because om nom nom, you know how them fatties love their cinnamon.  Lastly, to swallow it all down, she ordered the largest diet coke on the menu because she’s diabetic – yeah, that’s going to help control her blood sugars.  As if the rest of what she got won’t put her disgusting self into diabetic shock.

Bear in mind, this disgusting freak was alone and this was a dine-in order, so it was all for herself.  Can you believe that?  All that food just for one meal, one single meal in her entire day of sickeningly gorging herself with food.  It’s no wonder my pizza cost so freaking much, with fatties eating like that all the time.  And eating like that when you got starving children all around the world?  That kind of shit is why gluttony is considered one of the seven deadly sins.  On top of that, you know her health has crumbled to utter shit and we’re all footing the bill with her hospital visits, taking up valuable medical resources.  Fat fucks like her are the reason why healthcare in America costs so damn much.

I can’t emphasize enough how the fat hurt us all.  If this illustration from my day doesn’t convince you, then you’re a hopeless fat sympathizer and I hope you slit your throat for it.  Fat sympathizers piss me off almost as much as fat pieces of shit themselves.  You assholes are why this country is in the state that it is in.  You know why industry is being outsourced?  Because the fat fucks you sympathize with think they’re entitled to be lazy.  You’re why food prices are rising, why healthcare costs are out of control, and why a scamming pharmaceutical industry based on selling diet pills that do nothing exist.  If you won’t kill yourself, I swear to god I’ll do it for you because the sooner your lives are gone, the sooner we may be able to shame these disgusting freaks and end this dilemma once and for all.