People often ask me “BitterHappiness, who is it that you admire most?” Before, I would have probably just said myself, because honestly other than Fat Slayer and a select few others, everybody else sucks in some manner. But after Aristodemus taught me about Greek mythology, I now have a new answer: Hercules. He is my fucking god, and I don’t mean that Disney shit.
I’m referring to one of the stories of Hercules where he impregnated 16 women in one night. A single night. All hot women with good upbringing of course, the only kind of woman worthy of the presence of Hercules. And not only that, but every woman the stud banged had multiple orgasms. I’d like to see (or rather, hear, as seeing would be a nauseating sight) some fat fuck try to just have sex with two girls in a single night, let alone 16 and being able to give them multiple orgasms. Most fatties I’ve seen would cum prematurely because they lack self-control and are rightfully sex-deprived, not to mention lack the endurance to keep it up for longer than two minutes. Fucking pathetic.
Hercules was obviously fit. Just look at that picture on the top right. He was fucking ripped. Look at the abs of Hercules, a majestic 6-pac that would make women orgasm on sight. Hercules is the epitome of fitness and manly strength, something every man in the world should strive to emulate.
Fatties are the antithesis of Hercules. They lack his stamina, they lack his self-confidence, they lack his sexual experience, they lack his sexy and strong body, and worst of all they lack any ambition to improve themselves and become more like Hercules. It’s pathetic and decadent. What would a fatty do during sex with a woman? Because of their inexperience and self-confidence, they’d ask her how she wants it. Because of their lack of stamina and strength, they’d tire quickly and require her to take control. WTF is this shit? Nothing Hercules would do. Think about it. Did Hercules ask the women he fucked if she’d like it in a certain way? No. Hercules just fucked her in his usual style because he knew what he was doing. Did Hercules even ask these women if they wanted to be fucked? No, he didn’t need to because Hercules knew that it was a privilege to be fucked by him. Hercules took control, he was the man, and there is no question about it. Hercules dominated sex each time because he knew that every woman he fucked would be too worn out from all the orgasms he’d be giving her to be able to do much else.
If you do not strive to be like Hercules, you will become decadent and fat. If you let a woman take control during sex, you are a fatty because how on earth could you have real sex, the kind Hercules gives, if she isn’t being too worn out from all the orgasms you’re giving her? How are you utilizing your strength if you sit on your ass like a fatty and have her do all the work?
This is why sex is a measure of strength and fitness, and why Hercules is the epitome of what all men should strive to be. How well you perform and how much you get is all an indicator of how fit, and thus how sexy and pleasing to women, you are. You should always ask what would Hercules do. If you masturbate more often than you have sex, you are fat and pathetic. Seriously, did Hercules masturbate? No, he always had a woman on her knees for him and would probably laugh at how pathetic the idea is. If you aren’t having sex at least three, preferably four or more, times a week, you are fat and pathetic. If you don’t take control during sex and if you ever ask the woman you are having sex with what she wants or how she wants it, you are fat and pathetic. Unfortunately because we have so many fatties in society, we have so many women who are not pleased and are sex-starved, hence their lowering their expectations and requirements to have sex and this leads to the proliferation of various sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. This is great for people like Fat Slayer and I, who are able to get clean and beautiful women in bed with us by the snap of our fingers like The Fonz, but is a sad indicator of the decadence of society and yet another illustration of how fatties hurt us all.
Photoshopped? Lolwut? You mean to say the pictures I pulled straight from your Flickr account were photoshopped?
This is something fatties in denial will do. You show them unflattering pictures of themselves and point out their disgusting features, and they’ll all tell you it’s photoshopped. It’s pathetic. They’re too afraid to admit it and face the reality. None of it was photoshopped, and if you think it was, you’re a filthy fat apologist. You enable these fatties to go on about their business thinking “oh, I’m not fat because those pictures were photoshopped” when they’re not.
Still don’t believe me? This time I’ll just link to Flickr pictures. How about this one. You can see that she has a potbelly she’s hiding under those clothes and thighs that are thicker than an elephant’s. Don’t forget the big booty! She’s always showing off that food, her and any fatty’s most favorite thing in the whole world. Not to mention, it’s a great view of that ugly echidna-like face and nose of her’s, eww.
Now am I being a little unfair? I dunno, but she can sure chug it like a man, which is cool and what most any guy would desire in a female, but is perhaps where she got that potbelly of her’s (this is why you don’t date women who are heavy drinkers, men). She does have nice hair, which she uses to hide that fat ugly face of her’s (and speaking of photoshop, you only get that gleam in your eye from that program… hmm, you have much explaining to do Jill…).
See, I don’t need to photoshop any of Jill’s pictures to make my point, as I demonstrated here, and I have not done anything to those pictures. I took them straight from her Flickr account, as I have with the ones she claims I photoshopped – and this is assuming she hasn’t photoshopped her own pictures of herself! But I’m not trying to make it about that because her pictures are ugly enough even if she had photoshopped them to make herself look slightly more pleasing to her internet fandom. Jill, before you point fingers at everyone else to blame like I know you feminists love to do, maybe for once take responsibility for yourself. I didn’t make your body look fat in photoshop. You did, by overeating all the wrong foods, and it’s disgusting. You go around showing yourself off but ugh, no one wants to look at your fat ass Jill. So quit claiming we’re out to make you look fat because you look fat enough by yourself! I think the whole world would be much happier were you to lock yourself in your apartment and never show your fat self. You’d be doing us all a big favor. Until then…
You may have heard of her. She runs the blog Feministe. She’s a self-proclaimed feminist, and if that isn’t enough to indicate just how much of a dumb fucking cunt she is, her fat apologism ought to. I quote:
“Fat-hate hurts everyone, but it particularly hurts fat women. And it’s hurting fat women in very real ways — they’re poorer, less educated and less successful in the job market because of the culture of shame and judgment we’ve created around weight.”
I nearly shat myself in amusement reading that. Fat-hate hurts everyone? Maybe in the delusional minds of fat apologists, but it benefits the rest of society. Particularly women? Please, spare me this femtard bullshit; fat men and fat women are equally repulsive and worthless. Fat women are poorer, less educated, and less successful because of the shame of being fat? Thank god. This is exactly how it should be.
Every so often I peruse the fat apology blogs just for the lulz and Jill Filipovic is one of my favorites. Why? Because she’s a fat apologist who is fat, but pretends like she’s not but is too afraid to admit this because of her fear of offending the fatties. It’s so pathetic that I just can’t help it. If you read enough of her blog, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Observe:
“And yet I’m the absolute worst when it comes to fat talk. Like many women I have a whole slew of body issues; my weight is always on my mind, and I feel like I’m in a constant battle with my body. I’ve started to make my peace with how I look, and I’ve started to accept the fact that I love physical activity and exercise, I love to eat (and I like to eat food that feels nourishing, clean and healthy), but my body is just a certain build and shape and I’m never going to be 5’10″ and 110 pounds. I can turn things I love — physical activity and food — into things I resent in order to be thinner, but it’s not worth it. I’ve done it, and it makes me unhappy. Deciding “I would rather be happy” sounds simple, but it’s psychologically challenging when for so long I associated happiness with thinness — as in, “I’ll be happy when I’m 20 pounds thinner.” I’m learning how to allow myself to be happy and not thin. It’s a process, though, and as I go through it I still find myself complaining to my friends about the way I look. I also have a group of friends who are mostly very thin — significantly thinner than I am. It can be very difficult to always feel like the “fattest” in the group. And when I spend time with women who are larger than I am, I also find myself feeling envious — of their curves or of the way clothes fit them or of their confidence or of whatever else they have that I don’t. I feel like I never measure up.”
I mean WTF is this shit? Rofl, she’s talking about happiness when she talks about fatness and being thin. Happiness? What, so you only want to be thin so you can indulge yourself, like the fatty who indulges herself with a milkshake? Yeah, this is the kind of shit I’m talking about.
Look at the picture of Jill at the top right of this post. Do you not see that giant gut of her’s? Her thighs are big chunks, not small cylinders like a healthy woman’s should be. Her entire upper body is thick, and by “thick” I mean repulsively large, not some “hot, curvy” type of meaning black women so love to use. We all know that “thick” and “curvy” are code words for morbidly obese.
The image of Jill on the left serves to reemphasize these disgusting features. You can see that it’s not just her thighs which are sized like an elephant’s, but her arms as well. She’s short and very pudgy – she’s about 5’2” and judging by her appearance weighs probably around 150 – 160 lbs. That’s a BMI of 29.3, which is very disgusting, it’s basically obese. Pair that with a fat nose and butt ugly face like an echidna’s, and totally red in a most ugly fashion, and she could give some of the fattest and ugliest a run for their money in the vomit inducing contest.
Back in the day, Jill used to be all the rage on AudoAdmit, a message board for law students that preserves the anonymity of its users. She apparently gained some notoriety because she modeled for her friend in a bikini (eww), which she shamelessly allowed to circulate the board. I suppose in her younger days she looked passable, but Jill’s almost 30 now and her old age has taken a toll on her appearance.
This is all why I love Jill so much. It’s fucking rich. She talks about how she deliberately seeks out some of the fattest and largest of her friends and puts herself next to them in public so she looks skinnier, and then goes back to her blog to apologize for it. It’s absolutely pathetic, why would you deny your innate human desire to be healthy, and furthermore, why on earth would you apologize for it? Jill, if you’re reading this, you should embrace it and not be ashamed to burn your excess fat so you can have a fit and attractive body like your sister. Fat apologism is so poisonous for this reason; it holds us back from being healthy. You should cut out all the vegan bullshit in your diet, abide by a diet as close to the natural one our bodies evolved on as much as possible by eating lots of juicy meat and fish, work out and build some muscle in it all, disassociate yourself from every elephant-woman you think is your friend, and then report back to your blog raving about how proud you are that you burned that disgusting fat and regained some semblance of your younger and better appearance.
But I know you won’t do that. It perplexes me why a woman wouldn’t wish to maximize her self-worth as much as possible by caring about her body and appearance. I don’t understand why she’d prefer to just let it all go, as if she’s too apathetic to care. This is why fat people are so offensive; their lack of concern about themselves and others is just plain disgusting. You’ll probably go on and on, Jill, ranting and bemoaning about the sexism and discrimination fat women rightfully face, but never doing a thing to lift a finger and improve your own individual self. And this is why you’re so amusing to me; you are a microcosm of every fat person alive, looking to blame everybody but themselves for their own obesity.
I have this friend. She’s not particularly chubby. At 5’5” and 125 lbs, her weight is more or less what any reasonable person would find acceptable.
But she thinks she’s fat. What? She says it’s people like me who ridicule fat people (and rightfully so) which is why she’s so obsessed over being fat. Say what again? Because I ridicule those who make poor decisions that they could have easily prevented which not only harm themselves but also harm others, I am causing her to think she’s fat? Even though she has a BMI of 20.8, which is decent?
People like this make me laugh. Okay, so it’s my fault that you’re delusional, thinking you’re fat when you’re not and every single thing you read and know about yourself, along with me and all of your friends, tells you that you’re not? This kind of thinking is on the level of any fat dumbass and something which should be ridiculed. You might be my friend, but fuck that shit, you are a god damned retard for thinking this.
You obsess over your diet and falsely believe that if you avoid eating meat because you lack any intellectual capacity and allow yourself to be brainwashed to feel it’s fattening and eat what is essentially a vegan diet totaling in few calories, that you’ll lose some weight and look good? Uhh sorry honey, but you got it all wrong, and you got it wrong because you’re so fucking stupid. Sure, you could lose a few pounds, but what you really need is fewer pounds in fat and more pounds in muscle. Yet you freak out so much over weight that you refuse to work out. If this were about fatness and looks, and not about your own delusions, you’d be fine with working out, no? You’d deny this, because you’re a lazy cunt who doesn’t want to do any work to be healthy and good looking; typical among fat people, is it not? Pretty ironic in that trying to not be fat, you become more like those pathetic pieces of shit.
I’m sorry but I laugh when I see you bemoan about how you look so sickly pale, are constipated to the point where you have trouble taking a shit on a regular basis, and having constant mood swings, attention issues, and the like. You eat that vegan diet trying to take a short cut to losing weight and what do you expect? In all honesty, your obsession about your weight leading you to this has made you look a lot uglier than you otherwise would look. It’s also made you an all around pain in the ass, and frankly I don’t want anything to do with you anymore because of this. But you know what? You fucking deserve this. You brought this on yourself. You might try to claim it’s not your fault, but it totally is. Face it. But you won’t. I know you. You’ll keep on denying and running away from your problem, like the pathetic cunt you are.